Haiku du Jour

Apr 16 “That’s religulous”

My new religion,

There’s only one commandment --

“Don’t Be An Asshole”

Here’s a partial transcript of the above monologue:

According to a recent poll, seven in ten say it’s important to have a president with strong religious beliefs. The other three couldn’t take the poll because it was Friday night and Yahweh wouldn’t let them answer the phone.

But, fair is fair. So, for myself and the other 15-20% of American who the majority call “non-believers,” but who I call “rationalists,” here is our religious test for office: if you believe in Judgment Day, I have to seriously question your judgment.

If you believe you’re in a long-term relationship with an all-powerful space-daddy--who will, after you die, party with your ghost forever--you can’t have my vote, even for Miss Hawaiian Tropic.

I can’t trust you at the levers of government because there’s an electrical fire going on in your head.

Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to Heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.

And the good news is, a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say they are rationalists and have figured out that Santa Claus and Jesus are really the same guy.

Now, 20% is hardly a majority, but it’s a bigger minority than blacks, Jews, homosexuals, NRA members, teachers or seniors. And it’s certainly enough to stop being shy about expressing the opinion that WE’RE NOT THE CRAZY ONES!

“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day;
teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime;
give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish.”
-- Anonymous

Apr 9 “Archetype”

John Locke’s life not LOST

now he’s risen from the dead

like Gandalf, Jesus.

From Wikipedia:

“Faith: Locke’s life has a repeated pattern of believing in a higher being or purpose (for example: his father, or pressing the button in the hatch). He begins to suspect that he was destined to be on the island, which coincided with the partial loss of his recovered ability to walk.

“Midway into Season 2, however, his faith begins to falter as he slowly grows disillusioned with repeatedly pressing the button. The season finale of Season 2 concludes with Locke ultimately deciding not to press the button, despite the protests of Mr. Eko, who tries unsuccessfully to convince John to keep believing (and keep pushing). After the cataclysmic events that occurred when they stopped pushing the button, Locke admitted that he was wrong to stop believing.

“At the beginning of Season 3, Locke’s faith seems to be fully restored. This is supported by the fact that Locke’s first action after regaining consciousness is to “talk to the island,” a strongly spiritual action that harkens back to the Locke of Season 1, who considered the island to be a nexus of spiritual energy, and an entity that could be communicated with. After Mr. Eko is killed by the smoke monster, it is Locke who buries him, thanking him for restoring his faith.”

also: “John Locke is named after the English philosopher of the same name, and his alias, Jeremy Bentham, is also the name of an English philosopher.”

YouTube video: “Ben wakes up to resurrected John Locke”